Oh the Spanish - John´s First Blog Post thing-a-mo-bob

Now I´m all for learning new cultures and willing embrace them. Spain has so far been amazing, beautiful weather, beautiful scenery, beautiful .... oh wait I have a girlfriend.

But there are two particular stories that already stand out in my mind.

The first is our friend Jimmy (or Jaime as the Spanish call him) who was kind enough to put us up and feed us, decided to take us out on Saturday, upon getting in the car he informed us that we needed fuel, no big deal right?, well if you know what type your car takes, Jimmy does Not despite driving it quite regularly, it was on of life´s mysteries that had so far eluded him so he had to call his mother for clarification. Once the decision had been reached whether it was Diesel or Petrol the mountainous task of how to actually fill developed, this another Herculean like task was undertaken with much enthusiasm on Jimmy behalf, many "Oh Jesus you can´t be serious" on my part. After three trips into the store for confirmation on the matter Jimmy began to fill. And oh boy did he fill, anyone who drives their parents´cars from time to time will know you only put enough fuel to get you to where you are going and back and that´s all. Not our Jimmy, he was going hammer and tongs for it, bye bye €10, sayonara €20, this man was on to the fill the fucking tank. At the realisation that the kid as lovely as he is had no idea what was going on, we managed to flag the speedster down at €37. He siad that he wasn´t too sure if that was enough to drive for 20 minutes each way or not at this point we revoked all fuelling filling responibilitiess from Jimmy and have given themm to Chelsea coz I don´t like it on my soft hands,

The siesta which Spain is famous IS LIES. I had my first and last one there on Saturday. Ok I don´t like to be woken from slumber, like any reasonable sane person, I especially don´t like it when I´ve only been asleep for 45 bloody mins, complete mind bogging mayhem. You wake feeling some what groggy and dead with your consciousness trapped between Wonderland and Hell. I was woken from my darling sleep froma combination of demon heat and a "lovely" girlfriend, who decided that what I needed was a swim in the Artic Circle also known as Jimmy´s pool. Upon telling her that I was fine and just needed to be left Alone she insisted. I rolled out of bed and finding my swimming togs, now labelled Death, because that´s how it felt hittint the floor. Dragged out of the house by my left ankle, knuckles dragging, I had to cross the deck of burning fires to the pool. I stayed on the ladder for a while because .... well I want to have kids and that wasn´t going to happen if I went in. Eventually thanks to continously nagging I succumbed and plunged. On a scale of 1 to 10, that water for shagging freezing so about a 14, I think my brain still suffering now went into some kind of shock. I lost one of my nipples and am now down to 2. Oh well I guess it woke me up.

John.