The Backpack Debacle

Ok, story time.

So my boyfriend likes to fly by the seat of his pants or the skin of his teeth or whatever you'd like to call it. Bottom line: he's a take-chances, last-minute kind of guy. Two days ago, John got his license; supposedly he has been driving around Ireland for 9 months without one because he refused to replace his lost one. Yesterday, John got his travel insurance. Get the picture? So it should come as no surprise to anyone that when we arrived at the airport, we had no bags to check because we'd "chance carrying them on" even though mine was above the weight limit and his was well above the height limit, like 5 inches above.

Ryanair, for those that don't know, is a notoriously cheap airline for some very specific reasons: you can't adjust the seats, which are mainly plastic, you're charged €5 for a sandwich and they make back most of their revenue in charging you for ridiculous things--like charging €35 for your bag not fitting the height and weight parameters.

We spent a grueling 2 hours waiting at the gate as john desperately tried stuffing things in his pockets to make his bag smaller and I debated putting on two more shirts in order to lighten my load.

I was sweating bullets, fearing both public embarrassment and extortionate charges that were undeserved because my boyfriend had failed to listen to my pleas of checking the bags. As we queued up to get on the plane, we watched person after person being told to put their bag to the side to be checked luggage. John was in front of me, brushing off my hissing comments of making the next 6 weeks a living hell for him if this didn't work.

John walked confidently up to the measurement panel, and as I anxiously watched, he looked at the box and said, "Ah sure, that'll fit." He then proceeded to slam his bag in and by some miraculous crushing force, the bag fit within the parameters! He put his foot not so suddenly down on the box to pull up his bag out of it, and said to the attendant, "If mine will fit, hers will." With that said they waved me on with a slight look of shock on their faces.